Battle of the Bridesmaids

By Carrie, Mar 16 2009, Submitted to We TV Ugliest Dress Contest

From the Golden Girls to Sex and the City, groups of women bonded by breasts, baggage and biology come together to celebrate being women. This celebratory sorority is most evident when a bride calls together the most important people in her life to be a bridesmaid. Bridesmaids gather to offer advice and support when needed, and laughter and levity when required; yet, brides’ egregious demands have formed the monster called Bridezilla. Suddenly, she treats her nearest and dearest with behavior that borders on verbal and monetary abuse, in what is mistaken as bridal entitlement.

Bridal Shower Blues

Of all the traditions associated with weddings, bridal showers might be one of the most obsolete traditions remaining. While there’s hope with the new trend of “Jack and Jill” showers (both sexes), it remains narcissistically sexist, greedy, outdated, and well, cheesy.

Platonic Politics: Inviting an Ex to Your Wedding

People are in an uproar because Prince William and Kate Middleton, wedding trendsetters of the 21^st century, are (gasp!) inviting their exes to their wedding. People just can’t seem to jump on board with this one, which tells me there are one too many unrepaired, broken hearts out there. If these wedding icons can say to their amorous past, “Let bygones, be bygones,” it’s a little bit of egg on the face to those who can’t.

Goodbye Hymen, Hello Hyphen!

Each generation has their heated issue when it comes to marriage. Once upon a time, it was imperative to maintain the virtue and innocence of a young woman (i.e.: the presence of her hymen) on her wedding night. In present times, the average age of sexually active women is 17. Therefore, contrary to the repressive sexual times of our predecessors, kids today are literally putting the sex in the sex-ed. Don’t know what a hymen is Susie? Statistically, it looks like you lost it well before you made it to that health class lesson. Where the social issue of the hymen eventually broke, there is a new age one that aims to unite – that is last names. Say hello to our little friend, the hyphen.

Our Obsession With Love and Labeling

It’s already several dates in.  You’re way into this new person and you’re pretty sure he or she is into you. The kissing is great, the butterflies have yet to go away, you swapped embarrassing stories that both of you swore you’d never tell anyone, there’s been talk of future dates and trips and…neither of you are seeing anyone else. It’s time to have “the talk.”

There’s no “Me” in Bride

Some people use their astrological signs to describe their personality – preordained by time and chance

Art by Katrina Majkut

according to the alignment of the stars.  Some attribute their character based on their parents or environment; access to money or lack thereof.  There are many internal and external factors that help create you, and it’s nice to think that identity, to some extent, is something we can choose. After a short lifetime of making those critical choices or being products of our genetics or childhood, when it’s time to ring the wedding bells do we still have that personal choice to choose “who am I – as a bride?”

A Wedding Gift of Tolerance for Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky

Chelsea Clinton is expected to marry Marc Mezvinsky on July 31 at Astor Courts in Rhinebeck, N.Y.; and in addition to

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky

wondering when, where and who will be in attendance, people want to know if Chelsea, the daughter of Hilary Clinton, a Christian Methodist (and staunch feminist) and Bill Clinton, a Southern Baptist, will convert to her fiancé’s religion of conservative Judaism. Regardless of her decision, the question is unfair and one-sided because no one is posing the same question to Mezvinsky – will he convert for her?

The Last Hurrah

It’s the last call, the final mile, and the end of an era.  It’s the time you spend saying goodbye to  singlehood: It’s the bachelor/bachelorette party.

It’s a night that strikes fear into the hearts of many a young lover – where fiancés disappear in the night to sow wild oats; where irresistible strippers spread their legs for the almighty dollar; where “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” is more than just a motto, it’s a credo; and where the ability to remember the night’s events is worn either as a medal of honor or as a sign of disgrace.

Marriage: Keeping it in the Family

February 23, 1903, the day after John Fox and Jessie Tuttle's wedding day

After consummating their marriage, the parents of one of my oldest friends discovered in family charts that they are in fact 23^rd cousins, twice removed. They remain happily married to this day. While twenty-three degrees of separation seems like a big enough number to continue sleeping soundly in a joint bed, the cultural acceptance of relationships with only a few degrees of separation is just too close for comfort for most. Despite cultural taboos and legal barriers, the heart of the matter lies in the fact that affectionately entwined bloodlines have played a massive role in shaping history and culture throughout human history.

Garter Go or Garter Stay?

Portrait of American exploitation film director, writer, producer, editor, and actor Russ Meyer (1922 - 2004) with his new wife actress Edy Williams as they pose by a tree during their wedding reception, June 27, 1970. (Photo by Frank Edwards/Getty Images)

Ever watched a groom disappear under the layers of lace and chiffon of a bride’s dress? He’s searching for the promise of an exciting wedding night, while guests wonder what’s really going on as his head is between the bride’s legs. With a drum roll he emerges triumphant, garter in his teeth, smiling. On such an innocent and pure occasion, the garter symbolizes the unspoken privilege of marriage – sex, sex and more sex. It’s a brazen implication in front of family, coworkers and maybe a religious official. But as guests grin and gasp in amusement or feigned horror, one has to wonder, is the garter really appropriate for a wedding?